![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Rein in the Clowns
Jun. 9th, 2025 01:00 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
cakewrecks_feedWARNING: Parents, there be funny business ahead!
Bakers, will someone please get a handle on these clown cakes?
"Woo woo woo!"
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
What I mean is, I'm seeing a lot of funny business lately...
Don't tell me this candle placement wasn't intentional.
(But do feel free to share a burning pee joke. That'd be hilarious.)
...and at some point we just have to ask SWEET MERCY WHAT IS THAT CLOWN DOING?!
Keep it up, Chuckles, and someday you'll be juggling one less dancing dog, if you catch my drift. (You know, tripping the blue elephant? Cooling the cream pie? Honking the big shoe?)
Hey, Bozo! Get those hands where I can see 'em!
Look, I'm all for romance, but did the Wizard display teach us nothing?
And I'm not sure these censor dots are the solution, either:
Though I suppose it does beat the alternative. [shudder]
Thanks to Dominique G., Jeny F., Kara P., Ibo, Melanie T., & Robin M., who are, suspiciously, all smiles.
*****
P.S. Is your life boring? Does your soul yearn for adventure? Are you waiting for the universe to send you a sign?
Then here:
The Yodeling Pickle
Also the universe says "hi."
(Listen, if you can't think of anything to do with an 8-inch plastic yodeling pickle, then I can't help you.)
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Girl Genius for Monday, June 09, 2025
Jun. 9th, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedSunday Sweets: Boredom Busters
Jun. 8th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedBored? How can you possibly be bored? School's only been out three weeks!
Well, why don't you read a book?
(By Charm City Cakes)
You said you wanted to finish the Harry Potter series this summer. You can borrow my copies.
(Spoiler alert: Voldemort did it.)
(I am SO funny.)
Weren't there some songs you wanted to download? You could do that.
(By Queen City Bake Shop)
Oh, you already did?
Well, we could play Scrabble.
(Submitted by Ainsley B., and made by Cake Central user ToniRod)
No, I don't always win. Besides, everybody knows "syzygy" is a word.
Well, do you want to go on a bike ride?
(By ozcake)
They're both flat? Uh, when were you going to tell us?
OK. Fine. Ummm, do you want to help me make cookies?
No, sorry, we're out of chocolate chips.
Oh, I know, why don't you call some friends and go swimming?
(By Short and Sweets)
You could all have a picnic in the backyard afterwards,
(By My Two Sweetie Pies)
...and then we could set up a tent and you can have a sleepover.
(By Hilary Rose Cupcakes)
I'm sure you didn't actually hear wolves howling last night. It was the neighbor's dog. And the backyard is fenced.
No? Well, what about a movie? Does a movie sound good?
(By Cakes by Roselyn)
No, it has to be rated PG. We talked about this...
Look, I've given you a lot of fun options, and you've said no to all of them. I guess I can always find you some chores to do! I need help transplanting those seedlings.
(Submitted by Danette T., "sprout" toppers made by mimicafe Union)
And when's the last time you cleaned your room?
(By Mary Lazarides)
Well, at least make the bed. And see if you can find the dog's leash. And, Sweetie, Christmas was six months ago. Maybe it's time to put away the reinbear?
Sweetie? Where are y...?
Are you playing Minecraft again?
(That's 1,025 individually placed squares. WOW.)
Ok, but just thirty minutes. Then, your room!
Happy Sunday!
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
PostSecret on CBS Sunday Morning
Jun. 8th, 2025 12:03 ampost_secret_feedThe post PostSecret on CBS Sunday Morning appeared first on PostSecret.
Expectation Vs. Reality
Jun. 6th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedSometimes, you have a specific item you want replicated in cake.
You know, like a camcorder.
(Really?)
(Oh. Ok. Really.)
Well, no problem. They can do that!
That's one for the record books.
And with all the company picnics out there, you know bakers can freehand logos like nobody's business:
See? Just like nobody's business!
Or how about trying an entire building?
It's all in the airbrush.
Enough business, though. What do you say we loosen things up with something a little... sexy?
Mrow.
Uh...
Well, on the bright side, at least the baker was generous with the serving sizes!
Because anything less would have been a waist.
Thanks to, Emily C., Bridey, & Anony. And hey, you know what they say! "A moment with these hips on your lips, and your hips...I mean, your LIPS...no. Wait. Look. There's an old saying in Tennessee. Or was it Taiwan? Anyway. Fool me once, shame on..uh...look, you can't get fooled again, is what I'm saying. Sooo. Yeah.
[dramatic eyebrow lift]
Strategery.
*****
P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:
Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes
There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Girl Genius for Friday, June 06, 2025
Jun. 6th, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedSTRUGGLE SESSION: Calling In Sick…
Jun. 5th, 2025 07:40 pmsavagelove_feedThere are so many great comments about this week’s column and podcast — confronting cologne addicts! sending nude pics! humiliating hung guys! — but I’m still COVID’s bitch and I don’t have the energy to respond. I’m so sorry! But I am gonna share a letter that just came in just now and invite you … Read More »
The post STRUGGLE SESSION: Calling In Sick… appeared first on Dan Savage.
Because Patience and Kindness are Overrated
Jun. 5th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedI didn't think it'd been that long since my wedding reception, but apparently I'm already behind the times. Used to be, folks just clinked their glasses any time they wanted the happy couple to kiss.
Now I see bakers are taking it a step further:
And then some.
Don't see it? Here, let me zoom in:
Now, cue the music, DJ! It's time for the groom to DANCE.
Thanks to Heather C. for finally finding a wedding wreck to rival "faith, hope, thrust."
*****
P.S. You probably know The Holderness Family for their song parodies and silliness (the Thriller one did me in, omigosh), and now they wrote a book!
Everybody Fights, So Why Not Get Better At It?
It's getting all rave reviews, definitely worth checking out!
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Save The Cakes
Jun. 4th, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedDid you know that, every day, thousands of cakes go unpurchased?
It's true. These shunned desserts sit lonely and unloved on bakery shelves...
...only to eventually be shipped off to the day-old bread outlet.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
For a reduced price, you can help these poor, unwanted cakes find a place where they will be loved, cherished,
...and eaten.
That place being your belly.
Yes, your contribution can help provide loving tummies for rejected wrecks!
And just think: for the price of a candy bar, you can help turn these stale, unwanted, frosting-slathered sugar bombs...
...into a continuous sugar-high for someone else's hyperactive children.
And really, isn't that what we all want?
So please, visit your local bakery today, and save the cakes. For our future. For our children. And, for the love of Betty Crocker, tell them to stop making cupcake cakes while you're there.
I really can't take this kind of thing much longer.
Thank you.
Thanks to our "generous" "sponsors" Carly R., Garrett B., Jill B., Cheryl, Sabra L., Rasha H., and Dan & Christine M.
******
P.S. Hey, it's hot out there. Your car needs a sun shade. So if you need one anyway, why NOT turn your car into a Pixar character?
:D
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Girl Genius for Wednesday, June 04, 2025
Jun. 4th, 2025 04:00 amgirlgenius_main_feedbehind his eyes he says ‘i still exist’
Jun. 3rd, 2025 06:13 pmwwdn_feedThis thing has been happening to me since I built my first blog about 25 years ago, and you’d think that by now it would have stopped, but here we are.
The longer I go between posts, the more SUPER IMPORTANT the next post becomes. This is especially gross after I’ve been promoting something. I feel like I’ve bombarded the world with my promotional stuff, so I ought to give the world something to offset that.
…only when I sit down to do that, the part of me that creates those things is like, “Oh hell no. I’m on vacation.”
So I come in here, day after day, get to about this point in a post just like this one, and then I get frustrated, delete it, and go play video games.
I have to break that cycle, so here’s a little bit of a roundup to put something new here.
Yesterday, I finished building the LEGO Batmobile, which I started months ago. It has some adorable little details that were a lot of fun to discover, but holy shit was it tedious most of the time. It turns out that building vehicles, even one that I have been obsessed with since I was a little kid, is not something I enjoy.
I think I’m doing the Haunted House next.
If you’d told me a year ago that the Stanley Cup final in 2025 would be the same teams from 2024, I never would have believed you, and once again I am cheering for Florida because Edmonton is literally the only Canadian team I just can’t abide. Sorry, Oilers Nation, but fuck Corey Perry.1
Remember Trek Side of the Moon? It’s back, in T-shirt form.
I loved the movie, but am very late to the What We Do In The Shadows series party, so I’m only now getting into its third season. A couple nights ago, I watched an episode that takes them to Atlantic City. Nandor gets completely hooked on a Big Bang Theory slot machine, and is delighted to discover that there is a television series that is “faithful to the slot machine.”2
The thing is … because The Big Bang Theory canonically exists inside the What We Do In The Shadowsverse, that means I exist inside that universe. This feels like an achievement that should come with a badge, and it makes me stupidly happy.3
Late last week,I saw that Loretta Swit passed away. We worked together when I was a kid, and I remembered some things about her.
A friend of mine observed that we are slowly becoming the Elders, and that’s just really weird. I have been thinking about that, and it turns out there is a lot about that I’m not really ready to embrace, like accepting that people I love, who mean so much to me, are getting older (and elderly) with all that implies. It’s just … it’s really weird. At the same time, it feels really good and … gentle? … to embrace a position in life that allows me to be a kind, patient, supportive, and encouraging person in the world for anyone who needs it.
I’m thinking a lot about how I can talk about things from a place of experience, in a way that younger me would have been able to hear and internalize. I want to be a Helper so much, y’all.
I had a meeting with my team to discuss next steps on It’s Storytime. The audience is small but passionate, and growing steadily. I think we’ve found a way to make it break even, or slightly better, while the audience continues to grow. Thank you to everyone who is supporting the show on Patreon, to everyone who has liked and subscribed and whatnot. It looks like the audience is right around 20,000 listeners which seems like a lot to me, and something I feel really good about! But you know what’s crazy? In the podcast world, it’s tiny. Isn’t that nuts?
When I was walking Marlowe, I came across this weirdly bent spoon in the street, so I posted it in my Instagram stories with the caption “If anyone sees Uri Gellar, tell him I found his spoon.”4
I think this is a pretty good joke.
I watched a fantastic film a couple nights ago, about the post-punk scene in West Berlin from 1979-1989, called B-Movie: Lust & Sound. It’s streaming all over the place, and if you like the same kind of music and aesthetics that I do, it’s probably worth your time.
I think that’s all for now. Have a good day, friends.
- Also, Florida sent 9 players to Four Nations, and Four Nations was the most exciting and satisfying hockey tournament I have ever seen. So there’s that.
︎ - I love how this show keeps surprising me like this. The first time, it was throwing the bone off the roof in the werewolf fight. I never saw it coming, and it just killed me. ︎
- I also exist inside Tommy Westphal’s snow globe, but that doesn’t feel as exclusive. They’ll let anybody into that thing. They let me in there! ︎
- If you get this reference, that means it’s time to schedule a colonoscopy, if you haven’t already. And make sure you’re getting enough vitamin D, because our aging bodies need it. ︎
Tae Kwon "DO'H"
Jun. 3rd, 2025 01:00 pmcakewrecks_feedApproach, students.
You have come to me asking that I be your guide along this tale of Wreckage, but first I should mention that little Kyle here is taking Tae Kwon Do:
I should also probably stop calling him "little" Kyle.
After all, he could be earning his "Black Blet:"
(Presumably by doing step aerobics.)
Or, he might look like this:
(And wouldn't that be a boot to the head?)
Or - OR - he might know 6-year-old Mercedes here:
And, shoot, that's one little pistol I aim to avoid.
(I hear she's got a hair-trigger temper.)
Thanks to Heather H., Heather D., Liz M., and Kelsey E., for today's round of bullet points.Now, let us rejoin the mind to the body and meditate upon this wisdom.
Nyaa nyaa!
*****
And because I believe we should all celebrate our accomplishments:
I Got Out Of Bed Today Tee
More colors and styles at the link!
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
Can I Peg My Dom?
Jun. 3rd, 2025 11:00 amsavagelove_feedA married woman in a poly relationship is planning to visit a boyfriend who lives in a different city for a month. But since they made these plans, she started seeing yet another man. Should she tell the guy she plans to visit about the new guy? Should she do it before the trip so … Read More »
The post Can I Peg My Dom? appeared first on Dan Savage.
Quickies
Jun. 3rd, 2025 11:00 amsavagelove_feed1. Queer boy in an open relationship with a silly question. I’ve started seeing someone recently. They’re cute and I enjoy their company, but they use a lot of cologne and it’s hurting my desire to be physical with them. I don’t know this person well and our trajectory is towards a friends-with-benefits sort of … Read More »
The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.
